


spy stakeout scripts

by Qrth



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Houston Spies (Blaseball Team)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27230863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qrth/pseuds/Qrth
Summary: was wanting to work on my dialogue skills, so i wrote a couple things of dialogue between agents on stakeouts.chap 1: marco n morrowchap 2: alex n teddy
Kudos: 9





	1. morrow and marco

The following recording is a classified recording of a Houston Spies operative stakeout, two months after the addition of Agent Morrow Wilson to the team.

[ _The wind blows quietly in the background of the recording. There’s a frog croak occasionally._ ]

 **Morrow:** I just don’t get it.

 **Marco:** Huh?

 **Morrow:** Why am I here?

 **Marco:** Well- I mean, it’s a two person stakeout, and- and I think Reese and Comfort were working on-

 **Morrow:** No, that’s not what I mean. I know why I’m here specifically. I’m talking about why I am here in general. Why I’m with the team.

 **Marco:** That’s a little- that’s a little sudden. Do you not like it here? If you really want to transfer, I guess we could do something about that, but I and the team would miss you.

 **Morrow:** That’s not what I mean either. It’s GREAT here.

 **Marco:** Then I don’t understand.

 **Morrow:** I mean why did you specifically get me on this team? Why did you tell the agency I was a valuable asset? Why’d you convince everyone to go mess around on that TV show!? You couldn’t seriously think a half baked Chosen One would be more powerful than the people you already had on your team. Alexandria has a cursed sword with their name on it. Math is LITERALLY the concept of math. I don’t even really know what’s up with Fitz, but there’s no way I can do more than he can! But you still got a whole mission organized to get me, and even though I tried to just sit here and be grateful about it, I can’t stop thinking about what the HELL you must expect me to be, and how much I must be ████ing up that perception!!

_[The recording goes quiet except for wind again, and the quiet breaths of Agent Morrow]_

**Morrow** : Sorry. I got- sorry.

 **Marco** : No- no, it’s okay, you can- you can be angry-

 **Morrow** : No, I shouldn’t be, not at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.

 **Marco** : I did, sort of though. I did do something wrong.

 **Morrow** : What?

 **Marco** : Well- okay, first. First. Morrow, you’re good for this team. You’ve fit in great, both off the field and on.

 **Morrow** : Heh. Doubt on that second one, but... continue.

 **Marco** : You’re not- you’re not failing anyone. I didn’t try to recruit you because I thought you’d cast some big magic and make spying super easy for all of us or something- or something like that.

 **Morrow** : [ _quietly_ ] Gods, if only I could do that.

[ _Marco audibly shudders._ ]

 **Morrow** : Sorry, sorry. I forget sometimes.

 **Marco** : It’s fine, [ _indescribable mutter_ ] just gets a little antsy about that. But it’s not about them right now.

[ _Morrow makes a noise of acknowledgement, and waits._ ]

 **Marco** : Alright. Hmphf. We’re good, I’m not going to start floating. Anyways. I was- I was talking about why I got you recruited.

 **Morrow** : Yeah.

 **Marco** : I got you recruited because I- I didn’t think you were- I didn’t think you were happy where you were. At least not as much as you could be.

 **Morrow** : You aren’t entirely wrong there.

 **Marco** : And I- I dunno. This is the kinda, selfish bit of it? But. I related to you a little bit. I saw myself in you a little.

 **Morrow** : Was it the ‘being devilishly handsome’ part of me?

[ _Marco gives a coughing chuckle, and then silence ticks on for a few moments._ ]

 **Morrow** : Sorry, I’ll leave the jokes to Reese. That was bad timing on my part.

 **Marco** : It was funny! I laughed. It’s a good one. Don’t worry. I’ll laugh again if- if you want me to.

 **Morrow** : No, that’ll just make this situation even more awkward. And I think we don’t need that if we’re baring our hearts on this stupid rooftop already.

[ _Marco gives a short chuckle at that, and Morrow responds with a laugh as well_ ]

 **Marco:** We- we’ve gotten off track again. What I’ve been trying to say is that I- I know kinda what it’s like to have- to have a lot of pressure on you. To be expected to go above and beyond what you think you’re capable of. And then when you go off and do something by yourself, something that you’re proud of, sitting there and knowing that people aren’t gonna respect it as much, even if it’s something that helps you.

 **Morrow:** I dunno how much those stupid turnip movies helped me.

 **Marco:** Heh heh, I guess- I guess that’s me projecting a bit too far, but- But that was kinda my thought process when I lied to the agency about my reasons to get you out of there. And then I didn’t really... I didn’t really follow up with you after we got you out. I thought I was doing a good thing by giving you space after everything but- I’m realizing now I kinda put you in the situation that I wanted to get you out of.

 **Morrow:** You kinda did.

[ _Silence now. A frog croaks again in the distance._ ]

 **Marco:** I’m sorry.

 **Morrow:** It’s alright.

[ _Silence again._ ]

 **Morrow** : I mean, it’s not alright. It didn’t feel alright to be constantly worried about being called up for some big mission that I wouldn’t be able to actually complete. And it doesn’t feel completely alright now that I know I’m only a pity case-

 **Marco** : No! No. No, not a pity case.

 **Morrow** : -but I do appreciate the sentiment and the honesty, and I’ll get over it.

 **Marco** : It wasn’t a pity case.

 **Morrow** : I don’t understand how it’s not.

 **Marco** : Look, I wanted- I wanted you in the Spies so you could succeed like I have. I’ve done better than I ever had in this team and- And I just wanted to make sure you were in a place where you can flourish, like I wasn’t originally able to. I’m sorry that I wasn’t brave enough to go directly to you and tell you that.

[ _Silence._ ]

 **Marco:** I know that it’s- it still kinda sounds like a pity case, but- but it’s not pity. I just- I just wanted to give you something I didn’t have.

 **Morrow:**... Alright.

 **Marco:** Alright?

 **Morrow** : What, you want me to drop all the bitterness I stored up about the whole inferiority complex thing in the last like six weeks right now? I feel like I’d break this roof with the weight of it.

[ _Silence. Then Morrow laughs, loud enough to break the cover of any stakeout they were doing. Marco follows suit, nervously at first. Morrow’s laughter becomes muffled as there’s a shuffling of fabric, and then it seems to be a little closer to a mix of tears and laughter. This continues on for about three minutes, with Marco stopping first, then Morrow. Fabric shuffles again._ ]

 **Morrow** : Jeez.

 **Marco:** Y-yeah.

 **Morrow** : Y’know, I feel like your jacket is softer than mine to cry on.

 **Marco** : That’s, uh, that’s by design.

 **Morrow** : You can request specifically crying-friendly jackets? Wow, I need to get my requisition form for one of those filled out.

 **Marco** : Pfft.

[ _Silence, more companionable somehow._ ]

 **Morrow** : I forgive you.

 **Marco** : Wh-

 **Morrow** : And thank you for getting me onto the Spies. Even if it was just to live out your youth vicariously through a younger and way better looking version of yourself.

 **Marco** : Wh- Hey! I’m not that old. And I look pretty good, I think.

 **Morrow** : For a grandparent, yeah.

 **Marco** : I’m not much older than you!

 **Morrow** : I dunno, you know I’m 20, not 40 right?

 **Marco** : You little twerp-

[ _Both agents laugh uproariously, only interrupted by what sounds like a security alarm sounding._ ]

 **Marco:** ... Uh oh.

 **Morrow:** Let’s see how fast those old bones can run, huh?

 **Marco:** Faster than yours, I bet.

[ _There’s some intense shuffling, and the recording ends._ ]


	2. alexandria and theodore

The following recording is a classified recording of a Houston Spies operative stakeout, prior to the start of the 11th Blaseball Season. 

[ _There’s distant indescribable background chatter, echoing off of the metal around wherever this stakeout is taking place._

 **Theodore** : Stakeouts are sooooooo boring. We’ve been here for like an hour, and no one’s even done anything interesting. 

**Alexandria** : Yep. 

[ _Someone in the crowd below the recording drops something, and they pause talking as the noise stops. Then the crowd resumes moving, leaving a cover of noise for the two._ ]

 **Theodore** : So, you seen any cute girls recently?

 **Alexandria** : Seen a bunch of ‘em. There’s cute girls everywhere, Teddy. I find that most girls are cute.

 **Theodore** : Aww, c’mon, that’s a total cop-out. You know what I mean.

 **Alexandria** : Do I? 

**Theodore** : You definitely do, you’re doing that little half-smirk thing that means you totally know what I mean.

 **Alexandria** : This is my confused expression, actually. I half-smirk when I’m confused.

 **Theodore** : Alright then, Mx. Smartypants. Have you seen any cute girls in a courting manner, then?

 **Alexandria** : Courting manner?

 **Theodore** : You know, holding hands before marriage and all that. 

**Alexandria** : Haha, fine. Yes, I’ve had a couple dates recently. 

**Theodore** : Ooooooooooo! Going steady with someone, Alex? 

**Alexandria** : Nope. You know I don’t really do that.

 **Theodore:** I mean, you did though, that one time.

 **Alexandria** : ... that wasn’t really a “steady” thing. We never really went on an actual date.

 **Theodore** : I mean, I feel like blaseball games against each other where you’re constantly staring at each other kindaaaaa feels like a date to me. 

**Alexandria** : Okay, if you count that as a date, then I’ve had dates with like half the league at this point. 

**Theodore** : Wow, brag about it. [ _giggles_ ]

 **Alexandria** : The point is, it wasn’t a normal steady thing. It was fun, but now that we don’t really play as much... It’s just different.

 **Theodore** : If you started playing against her again, do you think you’d like her again?

 **Alexandria** : Heavy question there, Teddy.

 **Theodore** : Aw come on, what else do we have to do up here? Stakeouts are the place for heart-to-hearts and introspection. Live a little and daydream with me.

 **Alexandria** : I haven’t really thought about it, I guess.

 **Theodore** : What’s your gut feeling, then? You normally have good gut feelings.

 **Alexandria** : ... I don’t think we would really be the same, no. She’s been through a lot, and is probably a different person at this point

 **Theodore** : She did get Shelled twice, that’ll probably change a person.

 **Alexandria** : Yeah. We got lucky that none of our team got Shelled. I’ve talked to a couple people after we got them all out, and none of them had anything good to say about it.

 **Theodore** : Yeah, I’d imagine. Did you talk to her about it?

 **Alexandria** : You’re awfully stuck on me and Jess. No, I didn’t talk to her about it.

 **Theodore** : I just thought you two were a cute couple / not-couple when you were together / not together. You had a lot of fun.

 **Alexandria** : I did. She’s a damn good blaseball player. 

**Theodore** : Pfffft, That being the first thing you say about a past relationship is pretty telling.

 **Alexandria** : What? If my ‘dates’ are just staring at them across a blaseball field, it makes sense to bring it back to that, right? 

**Theodore** : Man, matchmaking for you would be pretty easy actually. I just need to look at the batting leaderboard and pick from there, right? 

**Alexandria** : Actually, y’kno? Yeah. That’d probably work. If they were a good enough player, I’d probably fall head-over-heels.

 **Theodore** : I’d say your standards are low, but it’s more like they’re ridiculously high, and Blaseball just has enough people around that bat like they’re trying to send the ball to the Sun 2. 

**Alexandria** : That’s a good description of it, I guess. Maybe that’s why it’s always one date, not two with the non-Blaseball players. 

**Theodore** : You’re a catch, Alex. Not your fault that the cute girls at coffeeshops can’t hit a 105-mile-per-hour fastball. 

**Alexandria** : Too true, too true.

[ _Silence falls, the noises of the crowd below dispersing_ ]

 **Alexandria:** Looks like the people are clearing out.

 **Theodore:** Dang, and we didn’t even see any weird peanut-cult stragglers. 

**Alexandria** : It’s good that there’s not any of them, but it is unfortunate that our intel was wrong. We should probably clear out before the building gets locked down for the night.

[ _Shifting metal as the two stand up from the rafters_ ]

 **Theodore:** Yeaaa, you’re right. I had fun for like, half of this though! A quarter, maybe. However long we were talking, I had fun for.

 **Alexandria** : Yeah, the sleepover gossip was interesting. It’s good to catch up. Good to think about the past sometimes, I think.

 **Theodore** : What’s a stakeout but a spy version of a sleepover, anyway? Next time we can talk about MY crushes and what people I think are cute.

 **Alexandria** : Sure thing, Theodore. I’m looking forward to it.


End file.
